“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one,” wrote playwright George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

After 25 years of marriage a couple has just finished dinner and are half way through a second bottle of wine.  The wife lifts her glass…

Wife – “Without you I would have never made it through all these years.”

Husband – “Darling, is that you or the wine talking?”

Wife – “That’s me talking to the wine.”

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